Course Integration

During the course of this semester we were assigned to write five different analysis’s of five different case studies of our choosing. We had many to choose from and each case study brought another aspect of the course into perspective. This method of learning was all new to what sounded like the majority of the class and I was extremely excited about being able to make my writing public and have so many people access and critique my work. This method proved to be very effective and I have retained many of the methods and writing to this day that I will continue to carry with me for a very long time.

There was a lot to be learned when it came to communication in relationships. Many of us have been in at least one serious relationship and I’m betting that all of us have at least one form of close personal relationship with another individual. Whether that relationship was a boyfriend or girlfriend or even a best friend that we went to when times were rough we all have been involved in some form of personal relationship. With so many diverse relationships that we live through and are yet to come in our lives we all could gain great insight in those relationships. I believe this to be the main purpose of this class. We read many cases, all of which involved problems ranging from large to small and at least one aspect to the cases connected with you on a personal level. The intention of this was to grasp the reader’s attention and hold it until the very last page. With topics ranging from problems with school dances and popularity to newly wed problems and the communication breakdown that they were seeing. This case study book had it all. Integrated in these stories were so many great aspects that could help us further understand things such as immediacy behaviors which are actions that signal warmth, communicate availability, decrease psychological or physical distance, and promote involvement between people (Anderson, 1985). Other great topics that these cases had integrated deep within them were ways to manage uncertainty or the truth about how a compliment really works. These topics could be used in a daily manner so that we as communication scholars can further understand the development of relationships.

The case that hit me the hardest was case 19 “We’ll Never Be That Kind of Couple: The Variability of Intimate Violence” which had two main characters by the names of Emma and Jason. Emma and Jason had a very touchy situation at hand that involved their neighbors constantly fighting to the point were they would both get physically violet with one another. As Emma and Jason continue to tell themselves that they would never treat one another as such they actually start slipping down a steep slope into something that potentially could resemble their neighbor’s relationship. This case really got me thinking and allowed me to really grasp the concept of case study analysis. It was so interesting because more and more you hear about things like this happening. I was explaining this case to my boss (a prestigious community manager at an “A” listed community) and we both agreed that we hear about his all the time. She then asked if I could show her my analysis and what it involved. This allowed me to apply real life situations to something that was very similar to the case in the book. I talked to my manager about the symmetry of relationships and the effects of negative reciprocity that a couple can develop. This allowed the two of us to actually understand some of the individuals at our community and actually hold a sense of sympathy for couples who are going through trials and tribulations such as this.

Analytical thinking was a massive portion of the case study as well. This taught us as the students to take a text as a whole and break it into pieces to further understand the development of what is going on. This gave us further insight on how to analyze things and gave you a smaller chunk to really look at. Once the parts had been dissected and analysis was complete it was then time to piece the parts back together so that we can understand the relationship each part has on one another. Upon doing so I discovered many things I had not yet though about. Things that you never thought were related actually came together in relation to one another and made the story make sense as a whole. The case study title “I Need Some Space” really put this to the test when it came time for it’s’ analysis. There were so many aspects to be defined when it came to the breakdown of two great friends relationships. The text was difficult to understand and study by itself and if it was studied as a whole you would have come out with a different conclusion. Once the pieces to the puzzle where disassembled one could recognize the true underlying problem that the two best friends were seeing in their relationship.

This course has taught me so many great things that I will forever apply in my current and upcoming relationships. It has taught me to slow down and don’t be so quick to make decision on how people act and react. The course has given me great insight on how to mend relationships and how to keep strong relationships the way they are. So many scenarios could potentially arise in the future of my life and I believe now that I am ready to handle them as they surface. I can now truly understand meaning and definitions about certain situation that I had not seen in the past. This course has been extremely beneficial and I will be recommending it for the future students at UNM.

Who's The Parent Now?

This case study involves many interesting things that take place. It all starts with a short story of the author's take on the case that will follow and how they too felt bad about the way the began to feel when they had to take care of one of their terminally ill parents. The case begins with Kate who is talking with her counselor. She is upset because she is having to now take care of her mother who is terminaly ill and cannot take care of herself. She begins by saying "It's not that I don't want to take care of her; it's that I don't have the time." Kate feels that her mother is somewhat intruding into her personal life and she is having to put her own life on hold to take care of her mother. Kate is almost to the point of resentment towards her mother because of this and it is really starting to deminish thier mother daughter relationship. The therapist then asks her a question that really brings it all into perspective. She asks "Do you think your mother never resented taking care of you?" This really brought the situation into another light for Kate. She thought about all the times that her mother would wait on her hand and foot while she was younger and ill and how her mother never used to show that it bothered her one bit. Then she looked at her own children and thought about the same situation. Kate felt that sometimes she did resent her children for having to take care of them when they were sick and she then realized that her mother probably did as well but what makes a good mother is to hide things such as those and due the duty of a parent.
Kate is running into larger issues here though. She feels that she is not receiving proper social support for her efforts with her mother. She is looking past some of the invisible supports that are there though. Althought she feelst that she is not receiving recognition for her efforts she really is but in a subtle manner. Kate mentions that she really enjoyed her conversations with her mother and this could be considered part of her recognition. Without Kate, her mother may be even worse off and Kate would not be able to have these conversations with her. Although Kate needs more recogntion than she is getting in order for her to feel that her efforts are not going unseen. The relational satisfaction between Kate and her mother is at a alltime low as well. Kate's mother is receiving all of the pleasure and enjoyment out of the interactions while Kate is having to change her at times and dress her. Kate is involving a lot of external manifestations towards her counselor and this is a vital part of her own mental and physical health. Without this support system Kate may have the urge to just let go and stop caring for her mother. In turn this will cause her to lose the small relationship she has left with her mother and perhaps never gain this back. It seems almost of dire importance to keep what they have going so that it is not lost forever. Kate eventually comes around and see's that her efforts are not being waisted and this begins to mend her and her mothers relationship.

We'll Never Be That Kind of Couple

Case study number 19 is quite an interesting case. It starts off with two characters by the names of Emma and Jason. Emma and Jason had both just graduated college and decided to take the next step in their relationship and move into an apartment together. They had just gotten new jobs at the same time which proved to also add some stress to their already stressful life. What Emma and Jason did not know about their move was that their neighbor was a very abusive person towards his significant other and they would have to listen to most every fight that the neighbor would have. These next door fights began as soon as they arrived and the case almost seems like they heard them from the first day of arrival.
Both Emma and Jason were obviously upset about what was going on next door. They could not even get through a meal without hearing the neighbors fighting about something stupid. It troubled them so much that they even had a difficult time falling asleep at night and they often wondered if they should intervene in the situation because it progressively got worse. One time they heard large banging in the apartment next to them and then heard the girl crying. They had thought the man had hit the women and they became terrified of their next door neighbor.
Being that both of them were being forced to hear these fights they began to think of it as normal. Emma and Jason had their own scuffles but nothing that escalated to that point. At first they actually used their neighbors fighting to bring them closer to one another because they made a promise that their fights would never progress that far. Until one night when they both lost their temper greatly and Emma ended up throwing a vase at the floor and shattering it everywhere. They had begun their relationship with neutral symmetry which means they were both allowing one another to possess some of the power in the relationship. As they grew accustomed to their neighbors fighting all of the time they transitioned into a competitive symmetry which both of them would struggle for the highest power so their fights continued to escalate.
Many things could have been done to avoid this situation. First they could have confronted the management of the complex and voiced their opinion about the dangers that were unfolding next door. If the management would not have done anything they could have always reported domestic dispute to the local authorities. Emma and Jason were afraid of repercussion but it would be awfully difficult to pinpoint who called the cops on the fighting neighbors when it is in an apartment home and many people live in a confined space.
Jason and Emma are beginning to develop a state called the principle of negative reciprocity. This principle states that as one person gets more aggressive the other person is likely to follow. This state has a great deal to do with power. They both want the power and are fighting tooth and nail for it. If Emma and Jason do not step back and change their environment and the way they interact with one another they could very easily travel down this road even further and ultimately ruin their entire relationship.

Embarrassment

In the case study “The Embarrassment of Disclosing Private Information in Public: Newly Married Couples” Matt and Jennifer run into a major snag in their persoanl relationship. Jennifer has been feeling vey uneasy about the amount of information that Matt is disclosing to his family members. She feels that he is being too open about personal information and this makes her very uncomfortable. Matt does not understand this at all because he has always been open and honest with his family members.
Matt and Jennifer have had very different upbringings. Matt has grown up with his family being very open and honest about everything that is going on. They feel that it is strange to keep secrets inside and they feel that telling people about their problems and such that they could be there for support in the time of need. Jennifer grew up not talking about personal feelings and her parents have always tought her that telling people about their personal feeling it makes them become more vulnerable. There are many styles that they could incorporate in their relationship in order for both of them to be happy. The collaberative style allows them to have direct communication and and incorporate a cooperative method. This will allow them to discuss what not to disclose and what they can share with Matt's family. The compromising style would work out the best for them. This style still allows them to have direct communication by they must compromise some information that they will share. Jennifer must agree to allow Matt to tell his family certain things but at the same time Matt needs to keep some things private to just them. With either of these styles they will buld a stronger relationship and continue to be successful in their partnership.

I Need Some Space analysis

The case study that I am choosing to analyze is case study #6 “I Need Some Space: Friends through Good Times and Bad Times”. The case begins by introducing the two main characters of the case Ashley and Jacinta. Ashley and Jacinta were very good friends from the beginning and they decided that they would like to dorm together and start their college careers by one another’s side. At first they do everything together and they love every moment of it. They eat together, share the same friends, and attend many of the same events together. This was ongoing in the first four months. On month five, Ashley developed a need to experience college on her own. This is when the static of the two friends begin.

Their relationship required something called relational maintenance. Relational maintenance as defined by Dindia and Canary (1993) include four specific areas. The first area is relational maintenance involves keeping a relationship in existence (Dindia, Canary 1993). Ashley neglected this aspect of their relationship by moving on. She avoided Jacinta at times and when they tried to discuss their issues they would snap at one another. The second definition is that relational maintenance involves keeping a relationship in a specified state or condition, or at a stable level of intimacy, so that the status quo is maintained (Ayres, 1983). Ashley and Jacinta had their relationship in a healthy state in the beginning but the relationship required a lot of work to keep it in its current condition. Ashley was not willing to continue with this healthy state because she wanted to experience her own way through college. Even worse was when her boyfriend Steve came in to the picture. He seemed to fill all the gaps where Jacinta was in Ashley’s life. The third is relational maintenance can involve keeping a relationship in satisfactory condition (Guerrero, Anderson, Afifi, 2011). The loss of this condition was imminent from the beginning of month five when Ashley decided on her own that she wanted to go separate ways. She did not discuss this with Jacinta because she felt that Jacinta would take it the wrong way. This move ended up hurting them both very quickly because Jacinta did not know how Ashley felt. The fourth and final definition is that relational maintenance involves keeping a relationship in repair (Guerrero, Anderson, Afifi, 2011). No real attempt was made by either party to repair what was done when their relationship hit a steady decline. Jacinta made the first attempt by telling Ashley about her cheating boyfriend Steve. This was the first move forward for their relationship in a long time. Ashley realized at that moment that Jacinta was a good friend and she needs her by her side to watch over her and get her back in times such as these.

Although their relationship will never presume to be the same that it was at the beginning of their college experience it is on a fast track to repair. They can maintain a new found friendship that perhaps does not involve so much work on either party’s part. Ashley and Jacinta must put forth some effort in keeping their relationship healthy because friendship is not a one way street. Many relationships require the same amount of output than input. If they keep on this track they will be great friends again in no time and still be able to experience college at their own rate.       

The Whole Package Analysis

This case study begins on a rather interesting note. The scene starts off with the main character of the case who's name is Ashley. Ashley is accompanied by her three friends Suzie, Heather, and Brittney and they are hanging out in Ashley's room discussing the latest trends. The case begins very interesting because Ashley is rather on the lower income end in comparison with her three friends. She is modeling clothing for them that she obtained by shopping through Goodwill and finding some excellent clothing with the tags still on them. Ashley does not want her friends to know that she was shopping at Goodwill and she definitely does not want them to know that she cannot afford the clothing she is wearing if it is new from the actual clothing store it originated. This gives a great example of the social identity theory which by definition provides an explanation of how our identities are developed and how we maintain our self-view (Close Encounters 24).

In  Ashley's eyes her friends approval means more to her than anything. This is shown when Heather steals everyones' attention and directs it towards the movie Twilight that they are watching. Ashley becomes a little mentally upset because she was enjoying the attention being fixed on herself. All of this attention was helping build Ashley's theory of self. According to Close Encounters 28, Self- esteem refers to how positively or negatively we view ourselves. It was all going so well until Heather diverted everyones' attention.

Ashley's next large dilemma came when she was getting ready for her dance. She did not have all of the fancy hair spray and accessories the others had mentioned but she still wanted to stand out. Staring into her closet just made her more upset and revealed to the reader that she could not be as happy as the others without all of the stuff they mentioned during her slumber party. Ashley is struggling with her self identity greatly due to what her friends had said about their outfits and based upon their suggestions for her outfit. All of this feedback adds to Ashley's looking-glass self which is the feedback we receive from others helps shape our identities (Close Encounters 31). Without all of this slumber party discussion Ashley may have felt very confident in her clothing and probably would not have had second thoughts about what she was going to wear.

Welcome

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